other beautiful stories

Read some inspirational stories
about previous surrogates.

“If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.”

Read about Aleisha's journey

hoping to help others through my experience...


(34 years old)

Location: Nelson, NZ

I’m a 34 year old Mum of now 3 beautiful children.

I was a teenage Mum with Paris and I have loved having her around my whole adult life!

I also have 7 year old Cayden, my mischievous, cuddley, sporty boy and then of course darling Frankie my surro baby who’s 2 years old and is the light of so many peoples lives !!

I am very close to my family, parents, grandparents, uncles, aunties and cousins and see them as the essence to my busy dynamic lifestyle !

I am based in the harmonious and picturesque Nelson Bays / Tasman area where I work full time in my challenging yet rewarding job as an Intensive Care Paramedic. I work with an awesome team and am based out of Richmond ambulance station working on the only advanced life support truck covering the region.

Words I would use to describe myself are fun, spontaneous, generous, organised, efficient, I’m ambitious and driven and have a general interest in people and am sociable.

My hobbies and loves would be craft, baking, I have a passion for fashion and like volunteering in the community.

I am also a qualified make up artist and love exploring hair and make up designs and eliciting inspiring looks.

I enjoy grass roots sport and have been involved with and sole managed the regions largest sports club and was enthusiastic about implementing systems, strategies and procedures to better sport and recreation to that audience.

I’m a friend to many, I’d say there is never a dull moment in my life, I like humour and nice things but the best job of all is being a Mum.

I am also very passionate about breast feeding and fertility. I am part of the la Leche league group and am a trained breast feeding peer supporter.

I have dreamed of becoming a lactation consultant so hopefully I can make that vision come true one day.

I am a valued team member on the Nelson parent centre committee and have done such tasks as coordinating the antenatal classes in the area which I absolutely loved!

My motto is you get out of life what you put in and my usual answer to something I’m unsure about – is why not !? Rather than why…

As above I have been passionate about fertility and find the whole process of pregnancy and birth fascinating and oh so special and exciting.

I seem to have amazing pregnancy’s which are mostly trouble free with NO sickness ! Yes that’s right!

I cannot even fathom what it might feel like for some who have the simple desire to have a family and just can’t achieve it, I wish that no one had to feel that heartache, especially when society and social media have such an exponential focus on these type of paradigms.

As my motto above states my answer to being a surrogate for M & C was why not!?

I didn’t want this to be something I wished I’d done or would some day get around to, I wanted to do it and nail it and make a difference ! Also to prove to others that infact anyone can do anything. I’m just a small town girl from Nelson who works and has kids, I’m not conventional, I’m un married but I can totally do this ! And I did !!!

Obviously this is a complex, invasive, time consuming, life altering and all round un common experience for people in society.

This is not a decision to be taken lightly and can impact families widely.

Health wise this can be detrimental to the point the guys had to take a life insurance policy out for me whilst I was pregnant, pregnancy itself carries many risks and these particular pregnancies are considered high risk, with IVF involved.

There are questions bought up mainly in the pre approval process that you would never even think about.

Questions such as your thoughts on abortion if there is medical problems.

What if major life events happen in the course of pregnancy eg intended parents relationship break downs, deaths etc.

How it will feel to surrender all rights of a child you grew and gave birth to up with no say in it’s up bringing.

At times these questions are brutal but I believe necessary and cover all bases in the robust process taken by ethics committee of assisted reproductive technology.

Despite all this I found the process reasonably straight forward. Being aware there is an abundance of heightening emotions present in especially yourself and to deal with these appropriately is important.

You need to envision holistically if this is something you can see yourself doing, there will always be doubts but your decision needs to be backed on your own principles and morals and the altruistic nature of surrogacy in NZ enables that.

In particular in our case we had a high media interested to the point where we appeared on TV multiple times, had magazine, newspaper articles written, were stopped in the streets etcI needed to constantly ground myself and and be reminded this was my story and that media and hype can convey opinions, objections, scrutiny and attention that is not always welcomed even years later.

The biggest thing I would say is I have absolutely no regrets.

I have created a whole new family link and have enhanced love within all these people.

I feel blessed everyday and proud of everyone who has been apart of this process with me.

I am open to speaking with people but I think I am merely a source of information in someones journey of decision making which needs to take into account many factors.

This decision I made was right for me at my time of life but I also didn’t have a partner or husband to consider which I believe helped.

Any partner or husband of a surrogate needs to be 100 % on board as they are part of the initial committee application and they also become a legal guardian of the child and need to formally adopt the child out along with the birth Mother.

The biggest question I’m always asked is how did it feel – and having being asked this hundreds of times I think what people mean is how did it feel to give up your child !?

Well that question in itself to me is wrong. But to honestly describe how it felt and as a feeling is subjective and not objective it can be difficult to quantify but I would say this….

It felt like sitting with a hot milo and toast by the fire on a winters night, or

It felt like coming home to the person you love and getting a hug after a busy day, or
Like a kid on Christmas Eve putting out Santa’s milk and cookies, or
Going shopping and getting new things and bringing them home looking and them on your bed It was like all the warm fuzzies and exciting moments you have ever felt inside your tummy.

I think most people expected a negative response. Also I’m not going to lie there were times that were hard and I remember one day I was crying on and off all day I think day 3 post birth. But I’m also a realist and know that happens after giving birth regardless.

I also cry now if my son just gets a certificate at school at assembly!

So I’m going to call that what my third little bub did to me, just made me in tune with my emotions more readily and willing to express them.

This is now a part of who I am and what I stand for and to quote what I spoke in one TV interview ;
It highlights everything I stand for and the way I want to live my life, new experiences, adventures, diversity, unity, family, love and friendship – Aleisha Hart, TVNZ Sunday Documentary, 2018.I really hope this helps someone who is considering doing this fun and rewarding task.

Our mission is to make dreams come true for those who want to grow their family.

Read about Rebecca's journey

hoping to help others through my experience...


(29 years old)

Location: Christchurch, NZ

We have had such a great experience as I write this I am currently 27 weeks pregnant and so far so good. We have a bit of an unspoken rule where we speak on the hone once a week and to be honest we down always go over baby things because theres only s much you can say especially in those weeks where theres not many changes happening. But we just yarn which I think makes us both feel a bit more connected and it firms the friendship which is so important. Because Tess and Dan already have a child it may be a little different as she’s experienced pregnancy and so I’m not having to take her through everything and she understands where I’m at and why I’m feeling like that haha. It also means that she’s as busy as me with a toddler to chase around and so she’s a bit more distracted and that takes the pressure of a little bit. For us as a family we have coped really well my husband is incredibly supportive and it might have even made him a little clucky so watch this space! Our kids are in my option a great age to be on this journey with they are semi self sufficient which really helps if I am having an off day, they understand and are able to help out or sort themselves out. They’re also able to really comprehend what is happening and have made us so proud with how they have taken it all in their stride, Rocky is hilarious and could tell you the whole story from A to Z and will tell and stranger who will listen.

Overall it has been a really positive experience and my advice for anyone thinking about becoming a surrogate would be to make sure you have all the support in the world I honestly think you need everyone close to you on board or it just wont work. Communication is key and start really early both go into it with clear expectations or wants and needs and keep communication lines open and things evolve or happen, for myself one of my biggest bad traits is communication I am hard to get in touch with and am terrible at texting back (ask my friends lol) so that was something I was really opens its and we have worked through without any issues. Write a pros and cons list right off the bat I did this when I first thought about it I wrote a list before I had even talked to anyone about it and be really realistic, brutally honest even. It’s funny now some of the things I thought would be cons have turned out to be pros and vice versus. I have gone into this fully supported and cant imagine dong it without a village behind me so thats probably me my top thing make sure everyone genuinely wants to be on this ride with you because you need them.

Good luck it’s such an amazing thing to be able to do for people, don’t put to much pressure on yourself work out whats important to you and then have a conversation about non negotiable’s for myself it was that I wanted to birth my way and also here in Christchurch which might not have suited all surrogacy situations but in our case we were all on the same page and if we weren’t it wouldn’t have worked. I love childbirth and know what I want and how I want it so have been very clear and firm on that right from the start (communication is key) the birth is mine, it will be the most incredible experience we are all involved in but birthing my way is really important for me. Be patient I’m sure Tess and myself have both had moments we’ve had to be patient with each other but these are little things in the moment its such a close relationship theres going to be moments of annoyance but they pass and the positives far out way the negatives (I wouldn’t say we have had any negatives seriously) but its important to remember to think how the other person feels, I often think about how this is much harder for the impending parents. In our case I am just living my life and getting on with it whereas they are potentially full of worry, anxiety and nerves, I don’t have that but I try to understand it as much as possible. Have fun!

Our mission is to make dreams come true for those who want to grow their family.

Read about Toni's journey

hoping to help others through my experience...


(36 years old)

Location: Auckland, NZ

I am 36 (nearly 37) and live in in Auckland with my husband of nearly 11 years Matt and our three children, Juliette (7), Mackenzie (5) and Lachlan (2) who was born via surrogacy.

We needed a surrogate because I developed an auto-immune disease called Churg-Strauss after having our second baby which meant I couldn’t medically carry my own child again.

The surrogacy process was long and involved, requiring lots of patience from everyone involved. I think you have to be really considerate throughout the journey, it requires lots of communication and understanding from all parties. It was really emotional for all of us, particularly in the days following Lachie’s birth, but we have all said it was the most incredible thing we will ever do!

Our little boy is the most amazing miracle we could have ever hoped for, we cannot imagine life without him. We feel so incredibly lucky that someone was prepared to do this for us, and that everything went as smoothly as it did.  The process was sometimes really difficult, and it’s not something to be taken lightly but if you are prepared to put your heart and soul into it, you can have the most amazing outcome. There is so much trust involved and that would be the biggest thing to consider if you didn’t already have a relationship with your surrogate.

Our mission is to make dreams come true for those who want to grow their family.

Read about Tess's journey

hoping to help others through my experience...


(33 years old)

Location: Auckland, NZ

I am a 33 year old mother living in Auckland, New Zealand. 

Due to complications during Indi’s birth I can no longer carry a child, so we needed to borrow someone else’s womb to help us have number 2.

It’s been one of the most incredible, challenging, emotional experiences of my life. It’s so hard and also so rewarding and full of so much love. The fact that someone has given up their body, and changed their lives for a while to give us our dream of having more children is beyond amazing and I still can’t get over how generous it is and how grateful we are that our beautiful surrogate has done that for us. It’s a wild ride but so worth every second of it.

Make sure you find a connection based on trust and openness. Be as upfront and as open as possible from the beginning as you will need to be able to feel comfortable to do this with each other throughout the whole process. Go in with your hearts blazing. you won’t regret it.

Our mission is to make dreams come true for those who want to grow their family.

Read about Olivia's journey

hoping to help others through my experience...


(37 years old)

Location: Auckland, NZ

Genetically, I’d always known I’d have fertility issues. It took my Mum over 9 years to fall pregnant with me, and sadly I’d always had issues with my cycles too. When I turned 33, I decided to meet with a fertility clinic and start the ball rolling on becoming a single mum by choice. I had more fertility issues that I’d initially realised but decided to try a sperm donor as a starting point. After trolling MANY forums and groups, I opted for a clinic donor and begrudgingly went on a waiting list for 13 agonising months. Once I selected a donor, I then had to switch donors again, because the original donor withdrew from the program.

One of my infertility diagnoses was Diminished Ovarian Reserve, so during that 13 months of waiting – my ovarian reserve reduced even further. I had no success despite multiple IUI cycles and by the time we tried IVF, we unfortunately retrieved no eggs either.

At this point, I decided it was time to find an egg donor but given my experience with finding a sperm donor and the long wait-times, I decided to find a known egg donor. It all felt very overwhelming and I was convinced nobody would pick me based on my single status. Fortunately, I connected with an egg donor very quicky – and she was the perfect person for me. Our values, interests and personality aligned, and we quickly started the ball rolling.

At the time of writing this, I am now 20 weeks pregnant with a baby boy and couldn’t be more happy and grateful to my amazing donor and that these options are available to help people like me become a Mama!

Be open minded! There is no such thing as a perfect human being. Have a list of a top three things that are important to you but don’t be married to those things. Ultimately for me – it came down to connection. The connection I had with my egg donor far surpasses any physical attributes I ever thought I wanted in a donor.  As impersonal as sperm donation is with a clinic, I felt like I’d would connect with my sperm donor if we were ever to meet as he seemed to have the same values as me and was open to communication with future children.  

Overwhelming at first! Both times! I actually started out asking some male friends and it was such an awkward and difficult conversation to have and ultimately it didn’t feel right with any of them, having a forum like this where everyone is on the same page from the start would have made it so much easier!  The thought of looking for a donor feels incredibly overwhelming but once you start looking and chatting to people, it does get easier. I spoke to two counsellors about it at my clinic, which really helped me to have the confidence to have those conversations and approach people. I was very fortunate my egg donor and I clicked very quickly and she was open-minded to my unique situation and willing to go through the lengthy e-cart process.

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First time surrogate?

What you need to know

Every country has different regulations around being a surrogate. In general you are required to have had a child and have finished growing your family…

How do I donate?

What you need to know

Every country has different regulations with regards to sperm and egg donation. We have provided a range of resources under our community, however we…

What are the costs?

What you need to know

Some countries allow you to pay a surrogate and/or donor and others don’t. If you go through a fertility clinic vs home insemination will all contribute to the cost…

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What you need to know

There is a lot of information to take in, but don’t worry we have a huge community of people willing to share their experiences and advice across the world…

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