I’m a 34 year old Mum of now 3 beautiful children.

I was a teenage Mum with Paris and I have loved having her around my whole adult life!

I also have 7 year old Cayden, my mischievous, cuddley, sporty boy and then of course darling Frankie my surro baby who’s 2 years old and is the light of so many peoples lives !!

I am very close to my family, parents, grandparents, uncles, aunties and cousins and see them as the essence to my busy dynamic lifestyle !

I am based in the harmonious and picturesque Nelson Bays / Tasman area where I work full time in my challenging yet rewarding job as an Intensive Care Paramedic. I work with an awesome team and am based out of Richmond ambulance station working on the only advanced life support truck covering the region.

Words I would use to describe myself are fun, spontaneous, generous, organised, efficient, I’m ambitious and driven and have a general interest in people and am sociable.

My hobbies and loves would be craft, baking, I have a passion for fashion and like volunteering in the community.

I am also a qualified make up artist and love exploring hair and make up designs and eliciting inspiring looks.

I enjoy grass roots sport and have been involved with and sole managed the regions largest sports club and was enthusiastic about implementing systems, strategies and procedures to better sport and recreation to that audience.

I’m a friend to many, I’d say there is never a dull moment in my life, I like humour and nice things but the best job of all is being a Mum.

I am also very passionate about breast feeding and fertility. I am part of the la Leche league group and am a trained breast feeding peer supporter.

I have dreamed of becoming a lactation consultant so hopefully I can make that vision come true one day.

I am a valued team member on the Nelson parent centre committee and have done such tasks as coordinating the antenatal classes in the area which I absolutely loved!

My motto is you get out of life what you put in and my usual answer to something I’m unsure about – is why not !? Rather than why…

As above I have been passionate about fertility and find the whole process of pregnancy and birth fascinating and oh so special and exciting.

I seem to have amazing pregnancy’s which are mostly trouble free with NO sickness ! Yes that’s right!

I cannot even fathom what it might feel like for some who have the simple desire to have a family and just can’t achieve it, I wish that no one had to feel that heartache, especially when society and social media have such an exponential focus on these type of paradigms.

As my motto above states my answer to being a surrogate for M & C was why not!?

I didn’t want this to be something I wished I’d done or would some day get around to, I wanted to do it and nail it and make a difference ! Also to prove to others that infact anyone can do anything. I’m just a small town girl from Nelson who works and has kids, I’m not conventional, I’m un married but I can totally do this ! And I did !!!

Obviously this is a complex, invasive, time consuming, life altering and all round un common experience for people in society.

This is not a decision to be taken lightly and can impact families widely.

Health wise this can be detrimental to the point the guys had to take a life insurance policy out for me whilst I was pregnant, pregnancy itself carries many risks and these particular pregnancies are considered high risk, with IVF involved.

There are questions bought up mainly in the pre approval process that you would never even think about.

Questions such as your thoughts on abortion if there is medical problems.

What if major life events happen in the course of pregnancy eg intended parents relationship break downs, deaths etc.

How it will feel to surrender all rights of a child you grew and gave birth to up with no say in it’s up bringing.

At times these questions are brutal but I believe necessary and cover all bases in the robust process taken by ethics committee of assisted reproductive technology.

Despite all this I found the process reasonably straight forward. Being aware there is an abundance of heightening emotions present in especially yourself and to deal with these appropriately is important.

You need to envision holistically if this is something you can see yourself doing, there will always be doubts but your decision needs to be backed on your own principles and morals and the altruistic nature of surrogacy in NZ enables that.

In particular in our case we had a high media interested to the point where we appeared on TV multiple times, had magazine, newspaper articles written, were stopped in the streets etcI needed to constantly ground myself and and be reminded this was my story and that media and hype can convey opinions, objections, scrutiny and attention that is not always welcomed even years later.

The biggest thing I would say is I have absolutely no regrets.

I have created a whole new family link and have enhanced love within all these people.

I feel blessed everyday and proud of everyone who has been apart of this process with me.

I am open to speaking with people but I think I am merely a source of information in someones journey of decision making which needs to take into account many factors.

This decision I made was right for me at my time of life but I also didn’t have a partner or husband to consider which I believe helped.

Any partner or husband of a surrogate needs to be 100 % on board as they are part of the initial committee application and they also become a legal guardian of the child and need to formally adopt the child out along with the birth Mother.

The biggest question I’m always asked is how did it feel – and having being asked this hundreds of times I think what people mean is how did it feel to give up your child !?

Well that question in itself to me is wrong. But to honestly describe how it felt and as a feeling is subjective and not objective it can be difficult to quantify but I would say this….

It felt like sitting with a hot milo and toast by the fire on a winters night, or

It felt like coming home to the person you love and getting a hug after a busy day, or
Like a kid on Christmas Eve putting out Santa’s milk and cookies, or
Going shopping and getting new things and bringing them home looking and them on your bed It was like all the warm fuzzies and exciting moments you have ever felt inside your tummy.

I think most people expected a negative response. Also I’m not going to lie there were times that were hard and I remember one day I was crying on and off all day I think day 3 post birth. But I’m also a realist and know that happens after giving birth regardless.

I also cry now if my son just gets a certificate at school at assembly!

So I’m going to call that what my third little bub did to me, just made me in tune with my emotions more readily and willing to express them.

This is now a part of who I am and what I stand for and to quote what I spoke in one TV interview ;
It highlights everything I stand for and the way I want to live my life, new experiences, adventures, diversity, unity, family, love and friendship – Aleisha Hart, TVNZ Sunday Documentary, 2018.I really hope this helps someone who is considering doing this fun and rewarding task.